Death

What is death? It’s a difficult topic for me.

Since I’m just a little girl, just around 7 years old, I already thought about death. I thought about why we struggle to live in this world where we all suffer from so many pain and sorrow, yet in the end we will face death, with nothing left out of our long struggle. So why in the first place that we live? Isn’t it better if there wasn’t a beginning because the ending is always so sad?

While thinking of death, I also thought about god, angel, devil, and so on, those make believe existance that we cannot varify. People said that if we pray, the god and angel will hear us out, and bless us with strength and wisdom to face any obstacles in our life. On the other hand, the devil will causes troubles and grievance to human, and even take away those we loved. There are also a lot of myth and legend, saying that the god fought with the devil, protecting us humans from being harmed by the devil. However, I couldn’t stop wondering, just like how other people couldn’t: Do they really exist? Are they really surrounding us? Are they really that powerful until we can’t resist to worship them or fear them? Until now, I have no answer to these questions.

I remember that I suffered from depression at that young age, but it didn’t last long until I recover. What I thought of the most is about death god, and, haha, I don’t even know where I heard that from, feels like it just pops into my head, I guess that’s how our ancestors got the idea about their maybe existance to begin with. Anyway, in my mind the death god is in black, with dark aura circulating around them, they are an existance with no breath, so light that even the wind can take them away. They stare at those whose life meets an end, and when the time comes, they take them away to a far place where we will never see them again. But to where? What had happened to them after death? Are they really taken to heaven or hell depending on the deeds they did in their lifetime? Or did they vanish into thin air just like how they were born into this world?

As time passed, these questions bother me a lot, but I managed to control these thoughts and avoided from falling into hyteric, which I’m very fortunate of. Thinking all those before I truly met death, in some way helped me to overcome the fear of death, and accept the fact that it is unavoidable for every one of us to die one day. That’s right, we will all die one day, the only difference is that when, where and how we die, that’s all. Even so, I still can’t stop the bad feelings roaring within me when I faced one, and I still can’t stop myself from thinking that a miracle will happen, though I know there’s nothing we can do to change death, a perpetual and undeniable truth.

Death is actually nothing to be afraid of, it’s just an end of one’s life cycle, where we return to our original position in this universe, but it doesn’t mean that we should give up our life when we knew that we’ll die one day, because that is something irresponsible, not only to the people around us, but also to ourself. So I guess it’s always better to think positive out of the worst. Since it’s unavoidable, why not just ignore it when we’re still alive, and enjoy our time on the face of the earth. But pay attention! Go see a doctor when you’re sick! If there’s a chance to live longer don’t hesitate! You never know that you might meet with something special when you survived, am I right?

I know that it’s easier said than done, death means that we will lose everything, how is it possible to not fear of death? Actually, I also think that it’s not a bad thing for people to fear death, because that can be a good reason why we’re alive today: we don’t wan to die, so we will fight to live. Haha, what do you know, what I’m saying contrast with each other big time. I guess it depends on the situation, ‘to fear or not to fear: that is the question’ (inspiration from shakesphere?), hahaha….

“Even the sun knew that one day he will die, yet he choose to live on with dignity, because he believes….” (my creation, haha!)